I woke today with the birds and their charming song which brought a feeling of quiet, yet cheerful anticipation. In that brief moment, amidst the morning glow, I realised I was thinking of you. I thought of strangers, glancing across at one another unsure of whether to say hello. I was certain that I heard your call, weaving through the melody of the sounds outside my window. Yet it didnt soothe me as birdsong should. In fact, I felt a little nervous, like something was stirring in the pit of my stomach. For whilst I've longed to see you again, I can't help but sink into a haze of thoughts from all that's past since we last sat in company together.
I question who I've come to be in those days, those days that seemed to slip like sand, through my weathered fingers. It feels that year has passed so suddenly and through its light and shade I find myself here, tentatively waiting to meet you.
Oh how I've longed for you to hold me closely, to sway with you in the night wind and feel your blessings kiss my cheek. Oh how I've prayed for the richness of your words to reach me, for the depth of your soul filled reminder to touch me and for your hand to take me and guide me back. I've longed for this reunion yet here I am, layer upon layer of fragility, bound by my deepest fears, questioning if I'm worthy enough.
The journey toward you has been long, I'm weak, barefoot and my soles are tired, truth be told, I'm scared to see you. Laden with the guilt of sins that drip from my skin, knowing that I could have and should have been so much more. That is why I need you my friend.
There stands between us just a matter of days now and although I may arrive empty handed and unprepared, I promise, at the sighting of your moon I'll give every piece of myself to you.
Its all I have. Just me.
As my head touches the cold of the ground I ask my Lord to forgive me and I hope, as good friends always do, that you will hold me with a warm compassion. That in the days we share together you'll remind me, that my heart was made to heal. That the sweet songs can sing from within once again and if I give myself for His sake I will fly freely like those beautiful birds.
May we all be blessed with the boundless fruits of Ramadan, may it take us on a journey that will only serve to strengthen us and may we one day, sing with the birds in paradise knowing we did all we could to please Him here and now, whilst we still have the wings to fly. Ameen.